Saturday, June 6, 2009

Jonathan

Hi everyone. Very early this morning, my little brother Jonathan died. We don't know why. It's just unbelievable. This coming Wednesday was his first birthday. Yesterday morning he was just as happy as can be. He was just the most perfect baby I think I've ever seen. He almost never cried, was just about always happy, and was just like a normal baby up until yesterday evening. Then he got a high fever, so mom gave him tylenol. He threw up quite a bit, but since he was little he's always done that so we weren't that concerned. Katie went and laid down with him to put him to sleep, and he just went right off. So later my mom got in bed and and a little past midnight he threw up a little again. He was also going diarrhea. So dad went all the way to the closest 24 hour Meijer (which is like a 30 min. one way drive) to get some Pedialite. Mom stayed here and took care of him, and he seemed to be getting better. Mom got up to change him and noticed that he was breathing a little heavy, but just thought that that was because he had a fever (he had been like that before when he had a fever.) So mom went and laid him down and laid down next to him like she always does. His eyes got fixed a little, and mom waved her hand in front of his face and called his name; he looked down at her, and then did his little look up at the bottle thing he did when he wanted some. So mom gave him his bottle and stroked his back, and his breathing started to slow down and he fell asleep. So mom was thinking that he was getting better, and she dozed off. When dad got back 15 min. later, he saw Jonathan and mom laying there on the bed just like they always do. Dad was thinking, "Good. He must be doing better." So dad got ready to lay down in bed and noticed that his eyes were half open. That was kind of weird, but sometimes Jason sleeps like that too, so that didn't make him too concerned. Then he put some stuff away, and when he came back in, he was like, "He's laying there way too still." So then dad kind of checked him and found out that there was no heartbeat and that he wasn't breathing. Right away he woke mom up and called emergency. Mom tried to get him back, but he wasn't responding. Then dad started giving him CPR at the emergency guys directions (over the phone). Mom ran into our room in hysterics and said "Jonathan's dead! Jonathan's dead! You guys have to pray." I was already awake when she came in and I got this sick feeling right away. I prayed for probably about 5-10 min. When the ambulance got here, I immediately got dressed and followed the paramedics into mom and dad's room where Dad had Jonathan on the floor and was still working on him. The paramedic immediately took him out to the ambulance and they started working on him. They kept at it for about 15-20 min. and then mom and dad went to the hospital. They could not get any heartbeat going and and never got his breathing going, and when they got to the hospital he was officially pronounced dead. I hadn't cried up to then, but I did when dad called and told me that. It's like I held out hope until the last second, and then that was it.

I can't even really get it through my mind. He was so healthy! So much fun! We all loved him sooo much, especially after what we went through before with his kidneys. He was such a joy to us. And, even better than all that, the Lord had worked a miracle in him. He was a living testimony to the power of God.

A detective came and interviewed me, asking for my side of the story and everyone's ages. So I gave him all the info he asked for, and then he came in and took pictures of the living room and mom and dad's room. So if you guys can just pray that that would go ok, we'd really appreciate it. Those things can be scary sometimes, but we've got nothing to hide.

After the detective left I picked up mom and dad from the hospital. I got to hold Jonathan one last time. Besides his skin color, he was so cute that you could almost believe that he was alive, just asleep. He was still our little Jonathan. But when I kissed him, he was so cold and his skin had turned a reddy-purple. It's just unbelievable; I can't get my mind around it.

So somehow we have to set up funeral arrangements. We don't know what we're going to do with that. How do you go pick out things for him to be buried in, when just yesterday he was so normal, sweet, and lovable? Sometimes he was just so sweet I would just give him such a squeeze hug that he'd grunt :D Now it's hard to believe that he's gone.

I just want to tell you all how much we appreciate all of you who have called and prayed for us, and even brought dinners. Like I said in my previous post (though that was in happier times!!), you guys are such awesome brothers and sisters in Christ! We've had so many offers of help we don't know what to do :) I love you all.

My mom is pregnant right now, and in her second trimester. She's had some problems with this pregnancy, but she was basically back to normal before this. If you could please just pray that she will stay healthy through all this and that everything will turn out ok with this baby.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading it though. I had a lot I wanted to say. I'll try to keep everyone updated! They're doing tests on him right now to try to see what happened. I'm planning on posting all the pictures that I took of Jonathan on Twitpic, at least one every day, starting with the most recent. Click here to go to my twitter. I might even make a little slideshow for my blog.

May God bless and keep all of you!


24 comments:

jjfortheking said...

Wow, Ryan, that was a really good read. Thanks for explaining everything, I enjoyed reading it. But, it is also very saddening. :(

We will be praying for you all. God bless you guys!

J.J.

'becca said...

Hello Ryan,

I am so sorry about what happened to your little brother. Please know that I will be praying for you and your family.

God bless you in this hard time,

'becca

Bethany said...

To Ryan and the whole Wagner family, I don't know the deep grief you are going through as I have never stood in your place, but I will be praying for you. I was shocked to read this but so blessed by your peace. May God be with each one of you.
~Bethany~

Josh said...

Ryan,
Hang on to Jesus through this hard time. I can't even imagine the extraordinary grief you must feel right now.
As I cried reading this post, I wanted to say something that would comfort you. But I know that only God can give you peace and heal your heart. I am praying for you...

In Christ,
Josh

Regan Family Farm said...

Dear Ryan and all of your precious family~our prayers are with you all through this great sadness.
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes..." Rev. 21:4 May God be so real to you.
The Regan's

Joshua said...

Ryan,

Philippians 4:6,7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Now that my family and I will be lifting you guys up in prayer during this difficult time in your lives.

Your brother in Christ,
Joshua

Rachel said...

I will be praying for you and your dear family...

Our heavenly Father is always with us and will never leave our side. He holds each of you in His arms, comforting you with His healing hand. In God's Word it says that He puts every tear we shed in a bottle.
God loves each of you so very much and we will continue to lift you and your family in our prayers.

~Rachel M.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ryan,
I'm so very
Cling to God through the storm. Rely on His grace when your own strength is long gone.


I'll be praying for you.

In Christ,
Courtney

Katie said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is a hard thing to trust God thru times like this, but I will be praying for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I do not know you or Jonathan but someone asked prayer for your family. This is touching! I know there's not a whole lot to say other than as you already know, God knows the beginning from the end and HE HAS CHOSEN to allow this trial in your family! As I clutch my little ones in the next few days a little tighter, I WILL pray for you! CB Nottingham

Nik said...

:'( Oh Ryan!!!! I'm so sorry to hear about Jonathan...I wish I had got to meet him once. We are praying for your family, may Jesus hold you ever closer during this time of grief.

Love and prayers,
~The Marshalls

Maiden Princess said...

Ryan and Wegner Family,

You know how much we love you guys! We are always here to talk and pray with you and for you. There is nothing I can really say that will make all this pain dissapear so all I can say is I am praying that the LORD's peace which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Our hearts grieve with you! If there is anything you or anyone in your family needs you can always let us know.

Because of HIS Grace,
Kneeling At His Feet
Maiden Princess

Unknown said...

To ryan and the family, my prayers are with you guys.






Cody

Rebekah said...

Oh Ryan,
I'm so sorry, I'll be praying for you and your family.
Your little brother was so cute,
I'm so sorry.

Levi Bendixen said...

Dear Ryan,

Though much has been said already, I give you my prayers and condolences. This time is so sad and sorrowful. Thank you for telling some background and facts for clarity. God bless you in this time.

Levi

Jennifer said...

Our family and church is praying for you and your family! I am so sorry for your loss!

Jennifer

Rebecca said...

Wow, I can't imagine what you all are going through. I am praying for you and your family, especially your mom and the little one she is carrying.

Anonymous said...

Ryan, God bless you and your family! I am so sorry for you loss. How difficult this is. Waht a beautiful baby Johnathan is... May the Lord grant you and your famiy peace and comfort.
Patricia

Anonymous said...

Dear Ryan and Wegner family,
Just wanted to let you know there are people out here that you don't even know that are thinking of you and praying.
Mrs. Goch

Emily Nicole said...

That is such a sad story... I'll be praying for you and your family! Just know that God is with all of you during this time. You will get thruogh it! God Bless! :)

Alec Kindred said...

Hey brother. I'm so so sory for your loss. My mom is pregnant too! I will pray for your family as I am sure it is hard. God bless you and stick close with God!

Lighthouse Prayer Line said...

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Sandy@American Way Farm said...

I came over from Bethany's blog just to say how sorry I am for your loss. This must be so hard for your whole family. Please know that a lot of people are praying for your comfort at this time.

~Amy Thomson~ said...

Hi Ryan.

Sorry to post extremally late, but I just found your blog now. Your sister, Amy, introduced herself to me after I followed Kevin's blog.
She told me all about Jonathan, and now little Justin.

I'm really sorry about Jonathan, and I will keep your family in prayer, especially little Justin!

May God bless you and your family!

In Christ,

Amy